troubled mind

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Posts by troubled mind

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  19

  Has growing up as a JW affected my ability to forgive ?

  by troubled mind in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i really don't understand the concept of forgiveness .

  lately in my life several people have thrown that term around so easily ,and i am confused .

  is it because we were taught to cut people off so easily as jws that i find it hard to forgive ?.

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  troubled mind

  Outlaw
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  19

  Has growing up as a JW affected my ability to forgive ?

  by troubled mind in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i really don't understand the concept of forgiveness .

  lately in my life several people have thrown that term around so easily ,and i am confused .

  is it because we were taught to cut people off so easily as jws that i find it hard to forgive ?.

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  troubled mind

  Thank you for the replies ! They really help . I don't think I am to far off base then when I expect someone to show they have really changed ,or expect them to apologize honestly for their transgression before forgiving them.

  This is how I have been thinking about forgiveness ......Forgivenss is a gift ....it should not be expected ,or demanded .Only the one giving it can decide if they are willing, and able to do so . No one should try to force or manipulate someone in doing so either.

  In our family right now my estranged Father in law is dying . Some family members can not understand why my husband has not dropped everything ,and run 1000 miles away to be by his Dad's side . When I tried to explain that he does not have a close relationship with him ,and gave a short history of why ,I was slammed as a liar .My words were turned against me ,and they blamed the JW religion we had been in as the problem . When I emphasised it was not the religion ,but the violence issues ,I was told to forget ,and forgive the past . The Father in law is a stranger to our children ,yet family expects them to call him and show their respects......but they don't even know him ! How can they respect him with any amount of honesty .

  It really will not take much for me to just walk away from this craziness . That is what bothers me ....do I give up on people to easily ? Are all families this nuts ? When a family member berates you ,calls you names ,says that your lying ....are you just expected to forget it, and go on as though nothing has happened because they are related to you ?? Don't think I can do that . I am not prone to retaliate back in an unkind way ,but the person doesn't get another chance either .
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  19

  Has growing up as a JW affected my ability to forgive ?

  by troubled mind in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i really don't understand the concept of forgiveness .

  lately in my life several people have thrown that term around so easily ,and i am confused .

  is it because we were taught to cut people off so easily as jws that i find it hard to forgive ?.

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  troubled mind

  I really don't understand the concept of forgiveness . Lately in my life several people have thrown that term around so easily ,and I am confused . Is it because we were taught to cut people off so easily as JWs that I find it hard to forgive ?

  My Christian friend is always telling me we must forgive others .....and I my answer back to her was WHY ? I understand the concept of not harbouring hatred because it can affect your health . But why do I need to forgive someone if I think they are dispicable ? If you treat me badly ,I usually do not give you another chance . For example she had a relative that cheated and mistreated his wife ,and the family said they had to forgive him ,and give him not a second ,but third chance .To me that seems like your just setting yourself up to let him mistreat her again .I had a hard time understanding why they would do that ..

  Another example is of a man that was estranged for yrs from his son .This man had physically abused his son's Mother in front of him when the son was a child .Finally they divorced ,and after the divorce he went on to physically abuse his next wife .He never was abusive to his children ,but the son resented what the Father had done to his Mother . Years went by ,and the son ,and Father never saw or spoke to one another . Decades past ,and now the elderly sick Father is seeking sympathy from the son . Is it wrong that the son no longer has feelings for his Father ? Isn't it his choice whether or not he goes to him now ? He has been told that the past is the past ,to get over it ,and to do the right thing because this man is family ... But I think family is not just family because you share DNA ,I think family has to remain deserving of respect .....is that because I am brainwashed from JW days ? I ask because that is exactly what I was told from other family members .

  Do you understand what I am saying ?,sorry if it is not clear . What do you think ?
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  39

  Well, it was your basic KH wedding, now 40 years later

  by JeffT in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my wife and i still like each other.

  fortieth is "ruby.

  " since rubies aren't in the budget, we went to ruby beach for the weekend.

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  troubled mind

  Congratulations ! Ruby Beach what a great idea !
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  28

  Whatever happened has a lesson for us!

  by Kalos in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  when my dad left jws, his stoic remark was: it was not a total wastage; after all i learned something good about the witnessestheir resolve to continue with their original claim that they are the appointed channel of god, even when they know in their heart of hearts that they are not.

  why cant i imitate that sort of resolve in doing something worthwhile?

  he thus echoed confucius who said: to be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.. a poor choice we made, some obstructions or some resistance are almost always viewed with fear and anxiety.

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  troubled mind

  I enjoyed the post . I agree it may not make sense to some ,but the farther you are from the pain the easier it is to look at other philosophies ,and appreciate a different perspective.
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  20

  WT Books for Sale

  by ILoveTTATT in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have a bunch of wt books for sale, including:.

  divine plan of the ages.

  finished mystery - includes the pages that got rutherford in jail!.

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  troubled mind

  I could kick myself ....I had all of these and more ,and threw them out just last month . Who knew people on Ebay would PAY for them ! Crazy ! I did keep the collection of Divine Plan of the Ages ...see if I can get something out of them .
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  83

  Blown away-- where to go from here

  by All for show in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i stumbled upon this website a few weeks ago due to the jw.org ridiculousness, since then i haven't been able to pull myself away.

  the thoughts, feelings, and concerns i have had the past few years aren't just mine.

  it's global.

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  troubled mind

  Isn't it an amazing feeling to find out you are not alone ,and that there is NOT something wrong with you ???? I remeber my first time reading this forum I was BLOWN away .I had spent a couple of yrs thinking it was just me that was seeing some major flaws with in my religion.,

  I was born in ,and raised as a witness, and then walked away after 44 yrs. It took some adjusting . The best advice I was given at that time was this _ Don't think you have to have all the answers at once ! It is okay not to know everything . Take your time reading researching ,and then just mulling over what you find .

  In my case I left still believing in the Bible ,Jesus and Jehovah ,but then over the course of the last ten yrs my beliefs have changed . The whole point of leaving a controlling cult like organization is to now think for yourself ,and make your own decisions ! You Know that evil ,evil thing called Independant thinking ....yeah it is pretty great !

  WELCOME ,ENJOY
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  12

  Well, aren't you a charming little Witness....

  by Yizuman in

  1. jw
  2. friends

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  troubled mind

  My daughter in law is studying to be a biologist ,she wants to do cancer research . Her JW sister in law told her ,"I already know the cure for cancer "(Gods Kingdom).....So in other words don't waste your time in College .UGH ! They are all so full of ....charm ...
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  15

  What my mother should have done.

  by LovelyEunie in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this is somewhat of a rant but every time i think of it it just pisses me off.. .

  i never understood why my mom would never switch to another hall or whatever when she knew how i was treated by the people who were supposedly the 'best' association around.

  my older sister also, because neither of us really had any jw friends because for whatever reason i guess we were pegged as the baddies because our dad wasn't witness (still isn't) and my mother stayed sick a lot so she wasn't able to do half of whatever was required.. .

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  troubled mind

  Thank you Eunie for sharing your story . It brought tears to my eyes ,because I felt the same way growing up ! My Dad too was not a JW so I never fit in at the hall or school .Same exact senario ....

  Thank goodness you are young and know your own mind . You can break the chain ,and make sure your future children have a quality life you were kept from ,in the process you will find joy too. Before you have children start the healing process for yourself .Join in something fun that you enjoy and make friends . Are you going to college ? That would be an awesome place to start .

  Your Mom did what she thought was right ,no matter how much we know IT WAS NOT ! I blame the cult and its influence on peoples thinking . I know deep down my mom loved me and wanted me to be happy ...she just had this religion twisting her natural affection and holding her real personality hostage . I was in the religion and raised my own children in it ,so I understand . She just didn't have the strength in her to take a stand against it ,she really believed it was Gods will......one of the reasons i am now agnostic . I reached a point of breaking and was able to leave with my immediate family .Thankfully we are all slowly learning how to be happy !

  Good luck to you and to your journey ...it is yours to take and you can go down any road you choose .Be happy ,be free and don't let the past drag you down .
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  3

  This is the activity you can see in the midwest

  by troubled mind in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10201968499767932.

  yep !

  this is the kind of excitement that goes on in my area :).

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  troubled mind

  She was looking for the interstate ,on her way to California ,home to Happy Cows